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Dye
Correspondent & Expert
Joined: 16 Nov 2003
Posts: 5146
Location: Planet Home; Buenos Aires, Argentina
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 Posted: Sun Jul 18, 2004 19:51 |
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Jay Kay Facing Driving Ban
Hello Jamirotalkers,
I just read on the Jamirosite.com site that Jay Kay faces a driving ban for doing 105 miles per hour on a dangerous stretch of Scottish Highland road.
Jay Kay will be sentenced in court tomorrow and the driving ban is reported to be lengthy.
He was caught on the A9 near his home in Scotland at Gairloch speeding in his 4x4.
Jay Kay has written to the court, asking for the court to be forgiving in the length of ban imposed..
"My speed regrettably increased more than i intended. I wanted to make the most of an overtaking opportunity" ...hmmmmmm sounds like a poor excuse to me, he should have asked for some of the Jamirofan's help, sure we could have come up with something more inventive!. "My dog needed the toilet"? "i have a reputation to maintain"!
Me? Again?
D! (diego) |
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Snorry
Joined: 20 Oct 2002
Posts: 332
Location: Badajoz (Spain)
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| Posted: Sun Jul 18, 2004 21:36 |
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If I were him, I would pay twice: once for that ban and another one for the next |
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JamiroFan2000
Correspondent
Joined: 21 Mar 2002
Posts: 2881
Location: The Jamiroquaized States Of America
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| Posted: Sun Jul 18, 2004 22:28 |
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Driving School with JK!!!
 Hello, :bm_r:
 Poor JK, never seems to be able to teach his feet to not push so much pressure on his car's gas pedal . Well, what is this count as?? His 2nd or 3rd driving ban?? Oh well...I guess JK could be a driving instructer to work off a potential "Community Service" if that comes stapled with the ban  . Could you imagine it?? (Jam waves his hands around and mumbles..."Doodly Doodly Doodly!"
A young teenage girl walks over and sits inside a red driver's education car, she is surprised to see the car is a Lamborgini. JK comes out trotting to the car dressed in a pair of black slacks, a "Team Ferrari" Racing Jacket and a modestly colored fake animal fur hat carrying a clipboard. JK enters the car and says, "Hello, I'm JK, your driving instructer for today and...Cor, your hot, what's your name?" The girl smirks sarcastically and says, "Too Young To Die!" JK gives a light chuckle of laughter and replies, "OK, now, I have three rules when you drive with me...Rule 1#: Screw traffic signs, they are such rubbish, they clutter up the roadways. Rule 2# If you would like to speed, go right ahead, we'll just blame your school! And finally Rule 3#, if you want to pass this course, you must agree to let me take you out to dinner." JK gives a sly smile, but she replies with, "When You Gonna Learn?" JK frowns and says, "We better get going!"
 Hehe, I hope you liked that ! Thanks for listening and Peace!
Sincerely,
JamiroFan2000
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Jaminneapolis
Joined: 22 Feb 2004
Posts: 822
Location: Minneapolis, MN U.S.A.
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| Posted: Mon Jul 19, 2004 05:25 |
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Are you sure Jay wouldn't come back with to the young teenage hottie "All these things we do, will make our dreams come true"
It's very unfortunate about this driving ban for Jay in Scotland if it goes through, because he literally will be walking the sunny avenues of life, instead of driving them... in Scotland at least.
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Wouldn't 'ya like... To walk the sunny avenues of life? |
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Adidas
Joined: 04 Jun 2002
Posts: 246
Location: Rotterdam, The Netherlands
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| Posted: Mon Jul 19, 2004 10:01 |
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Cool piece JamiroFan!
Looks like you have a great imagination!
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Put the needle on it!! |
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EvoV
Joined: 02 Dec 2003
Posts: 1421
Location: figueira da foz - Portugal
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| Posted: Mon Jul 19, 2004 11:44 |
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 Ola
 again  this guy don't learn , someday he will cannot ride a car in anyplace in the world.
I don't know why he rid on the street if he can buy a track.
Like that one that he got on the back of his garden in is house ,hehehe
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hooked up |
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JamiroFan2000
Correspondent
Joined: 21 Mar 2002
Posts: 2881
Location: The Jamiroquaized States Of America
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| Posted: Mon Jul 19, 2004 20:41 |
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Riding the bus...
 Hello again, :bm_b:
 Thank you for the warm comments Adidas, really appreciate them ! Could you imagine JK, with no driver's license, riding London Mass Transit to get back and forth..hehe...I could imagine it...
JK stands at the bus stop on Bond Street, JK sneers around and notices the bus coming. JK hops aboard the bus, slaps down a pound note and climbs the stairs to the second level of the bus. JK sits down and reads a magazine, a drunken man hobbles onto the second level of the bus and sits down with a blank stare on his face. JK smirks and concentrates on his mag, but the drunken spots JK and mumbles out loud, "Oi, you be that "hat guy" right?!?" JK ignores him, but he continues on with, "What...what's wrong mate, you can't hear me...cor, mate, what's your deal eh? I mean, you must feel like a "right fruit" in those hats of yours!" The man stands up, points at JK and yammers on with, "I mean, mate, you do that song right, that goes..uhh.."Futures..made of...Virtual Insanity..Uhhh...Always SEEEEMMMM TTTOOOO...!" The man continues to croon "Virtual Insanity" badly and all JK came do is hide in his mag, the man beckons the other bus riders to sing, and they all start singing "Virtual Insanity" in bad unison. JK stands up with his fingers in his ears and yelps, "OI! This is my stop!" JK trots away, down the stairs and off the bus. The Drunken man, feeling a little dejected, sits down and mumbles, "Tosser! I sing better than him....hehe!" Takes a long swig from his flask and hums "VI" to himself.
Ha Ha Ha ! I hope you all like this too ! Thanks for listening and a special thank you to Adidas for our GREAT Chat yesterday ! Peace!
Sincerely,
JamiroFan2000
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Adidas
Joined: 04 Jun 2002
Posts: 246
Location: Rotterdam, The Netherlands
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| Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 11:32 |
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Hahaha this is hilarious JamiroFan!!!!
Especially 'cos I've been to London last year and sat on the "Bond Street-Bus". So I can imagine what it must be like to be imbarressed like that in front of a lot of ppl and not even to mention the tourists that are on those busses!
Too bad I didn't ran in to him on the bus.  He wouldn't run away from my singin'. I can assure you that!
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Jaminneapolis
Joined: 22 Feb 2004
Posts: 822
Location: Minneapolis, MN U.S.A.
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| Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 05:09 |
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Yo Jay! If you lose your license, I could really use a loner car while mine is in the shop. Any car at all wil do. Any car at all. Any SUV, anything you got dude.
I'll call you on your celly cell tommorow to remind you.
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Wouldn't 'ya like... To walk the sunny avenues of life? |
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JamiroFan2000
Correspondent
Joined: 21 Mar 2002
Posts: 2881
Location: The Jamiroquaized States Of America
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| Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 18:04 |
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Hehe Thank you Wendy!!!
Hello again, :bm_r:
Thank you Adidas, I'm happy you found my little piece of jape very funny . You know, I also got to thinking, if JK didn't use mass transit to get around without his driving license...what would it be like if he had to carpool with the rest of the band?....Hmmmm
A small silver Audi comes tearing up the gravel path leading to JK's mansion. In the Audi are his fellow Bandmembers Sola Akingbola, Alex Meadows, Matt Johnson and Derrick McKenzie. The Audi brakes slowly infront of the mansion, and Derrick, driving the car, sounds the horn impatiently. JK comes out of the mansion yelling while jiggling his house keys, "I'm coming...I'm coming...COR!!!" JK runs up and sits in the backseat of the Audi with Sola and Alex, the Audi tears away back down the path. JK collects himself and puts all his keys in his pocket, and notices there is a "scary silence" in the car. JK looks around at his fellow mates and says, "How are you mates & what's wrong?" With a cold hard stare from Derrick in the rear view mirror, Derrick replies with, "JK....the Online Jamiroquai fans are unhappy!" JK grins and says sarcastically, "Aren't they always....Ha Ha Ha...?" JK smiles after chuckling but no one else responds in the car to him. JK asks, "OK, OK...I know I have neglected them, but Oi, what's the REAL problem with them?" Sola gives JK the same cold stare and says, "You never post to them, it's always me and Derrick who always have to communicate with the fans, why is that JK?" Matt & Alex shake their heads in agreement. JK gives a puzzled look and says, "Cor...OK, it's like this, right, I asked you guys to post for me as 'favors', and I'll pay you back alright?" Derrick looks back to JK again in the mirror and grumbles, "Look mate, we don't to be "payed back" or anything like that, we want you to take some 'online responsibility' for the fans for once, not just leave it in our laps all the time!" Sola, Matt & Alex shakes their heads in agreement. JK rolls his eyes and explains, "OH! Alright, when I have finished my computer course, I will post then, but for now...Derrick, could I ask you for a favor, the Official webcam has been bothering me again to help on a new Official Site vid download, could you let them take some video of you playing the drums or something?" Derrick gets angry, pulls over the Audi halfway down the road in the Buckinghamshire country and screams to JK, "GET OUT OF THE CAR!" JK gives a look a shock and says, "WHAT?? WHY?!?" Matt & Sola, push JK out of the car, they pull the car door shut and drive off in a veil of dust. JK stands alone watching the car drive away and JK yells at them, "OI!!! DOES THAT MEAN NO DERRICK?!?" JK kicks the rocks on the side of the road and starts trying to flag down a passing car. A red Porche slows down to the flagging JK, JK runs up to the car and says, "Oh, thank you, could you give me a ride back to my place?" The driver of the car recognizes him and asks, "Aren't you the tosser that never updates his Official website?" JK replies with, "Uh yeah so..." Before JK can finish his sentence tears away from him back down the roadway. JK screams, "BOLLOCKS!!!!"
Ha Ha Ha ! That pretty much describes our feelings exactly eh?  , thanks for listening and I hope you all enjoy this new piece of jape, especially Adidas ! Peace!
Sincerely,
JamiroFan2000
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