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EvoV
Joined: 02 Dec 2003
Posts: 1421
Location: figueira da foz - Portugal
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 Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 18:12 |
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| We have more alcoholic teenagers, more overweight teenagers, a higher number of sexually transmitted diseases / infections in our young people, a higher level of teenage pregnancy, and less social responsibility apparent in our young people than in anywhere else I've seen. |
funny , in portugal is the same!  but i doubt about that question on alcohol , i guess in portugal there's lots more!
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CosmicBear
Officer - not married to CosmicMouse
Joined: 10 Feb 2002
Posts: 1063
Location: London, UK
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| Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 18:14 |
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| EvoV wrote: |
kids just have to open the eyes, and rise the fists against that guys! it used to worked with me, (it was only 2 3 times).
If you don't show fear, they don't do nothing. who's stronger wins. I don't see what is the surprise,after all that happends in the nature,not only with humans! 
listen emo songs, make kids suicide too |
evo, no offence, but i doubt that you get the meaning of this topic. if you have never been in the situation how can you say it's easy to stand up to those who bully? violence is normally not a solution but will only create more violence. and what do people do who get bullied by more than one person? what do people do who get bullied in an office by lets say 5 co-workers? do they stand up and beat the crap out of those five people?
bullying is NOT something you find in nature. i have yet to see a cow that picks on another cow or a sparrow that beats the crap out of another sparrow just because it has a smaller beak or a leg that's shorter than the other one. you are talking about 'survival of the fittest' - bullying is not that at all! perfectly strong people get bullied everyday and crack because of that. emotional and mental harm up to a point that they can't live a normal life anymore.
making fun of that by your comments just shows how little you know about what people talk about on here and shows how immature you are and how insensitive you are towards this topic and people who have gone through this!  |
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jamirokaki
Expert
Joined: 29 Jan 2003
Posts: 3472
Location: basque country
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| Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 18:21 |
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agree with all bear said.
except that is not something found and nature, i think it can be. anyway that's not a reason to deny evov's words.
other animals (and humans) can play like that but that doesn't mean it need to be accepted.
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Ivy
Joined: 25 Jan 2005
Posts: 336
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| Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 19:05 |
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woo hoo!! hi five  yes I was a bullied for most of my school years starting in pre school I had two midgets with fros telling me what to do! ..and through out the rest of my school years ...I guess being quiet near mute was the source of my bullying... im still shy just not as much today.
it ended the day I left highschool. ( they were all at different schools with different people ...of course I never exactly look back at as something nice..
there were some difficult times and it took some years of self evaluation, self reflection to understand what I went through. and that yes I survived. and that no it was not the worst thing that could have ever happend to me. I understood that there were people on this planet that were really suffering so self pitying felt kinda selfish ..although i still do it every now and then since.I 'm human. but to let that rule my life would be crazy for me.. I guess coming out of highschool i did allow it. but i didn't see why I should care when I have nearly forgotten the faces of my bullies.
I do understand what it feels like when you're being bullied
it can test your limits
I agree its something that shouldn't be accepted but I do think that teachers and parents allow it.
Last edited by Ivy on Tue Apr 26, 2011 19:36; edited 1 time in total |
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EvoV
Joined: 02 Dec 2003
Posts: 1421
Location: figueira da foz - Portugal
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| Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 19:56 |
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why bullys pick with the others?
i just see one explanation in that,and one solution! well....2 solutions!
but if someone bullys with you , is not with words that you gonna solve the problem , they are not smart enough to recognize that they are making things wrongs!
Is education, thing that don't happend in bully's house! at least i don't know any bully with education! do you?
i know violence is not the solutions(blablabla), but as far as i know , theres not only one way of violence (fisical) , with words , and in front or lots of people , you can simply humilliate that person alot,the enough to never want see you again! I think that is a nice solution. I like it
if a person is weak,is shy,etc..what can do? call the police?
who's stronger.."always" win! in nature works like this..humans are animals...
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mr.az
Joined: 01 Sep 2005
Posts: 2421
Location: rallying
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| Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 20:08 |
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| jameerica wrote: |
| people picked on me cause of my nationality....that hurts a lot.... |
i understand you alot, i was in a board where always idiots from the uk and the usa insult me and make jokes about me(they insult me really...i will not post all the things)...so if u suffer something like that is really sad, but u can go on and forget
in fact they always take me as a latino that for them'' i dont know nothing about the world and all the music i like is shit''...so i leave that board after a years...because i try to tell them that, first of all, if they dont respect me how they will have respect from me?
and then they always beat me about the fact that i cant say in that place my point of view about politics, about funny things...they're a bunch of idiots...im sure this forum and another i've joined some time after were the best places to saty, bu in that crappy place they always beat latinos and show disrespect and nobody stop them...i wish in every forum we have people like cosmic mouse, because is great for keep the place free of troublemakers...(in that place arent people like mouse...maybe that help the troublemakers alot)
so, jaamerica, im here when u need to talk
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AP
Joined: 04 Mar 2007
Posts: 49
Location: N Georgia/Western NC, USA
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| Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 20:54 |
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Taking a stand can be different for a kid versus an adult. Kids in school have more or less the same power although they do deal with issues of class and etc. When you have a boss bullying you, or anyone in a position of more power bullying you taking a stand has a different meaning. I was defining taking a stand as taking care of yourself. If an adult person has another who is bullying them, they can use multiple strategies of standing up for themselves such as working somewhere else- thats standing up for yourself by realizing your self worth.  For an adult the best option isnt fighting off a group of people but learning to negotiate the different options that put you were you want to be. |
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jameerica
Joined: 31 Jan 2007
Posts: 744
Location: Walking in the strawberry fields (with devils!)
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| Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 13:43 |
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| mr.az wrote: |
| jameerica wrote: |
| people picked on me cause of my nationality....that hurts a lot.... |
i understand you alot, i was in a board where always idiots from the uk and the usa insult me and make jokes about me(they insult me really...i will not post all the things)...so if u suffer something like that is really sad, but u can go on and forget
in fact they always take me as a latino that for them'' i dont know nothing about the world and all the music i like is shit''...so i leave that board after a years...because i try to tell them that, first of all, if they dont respect me how they will have respect from me?
and then they always beat me about the fact that i cant say in that place my point of view about politics, about funny things...they're a bunch of idiots...im sure this forum and another i've joined some time after were the best places to saty, bu in that crappy place they always beat latinos and show disrespect and nobody stop them...i wish in every forum we have people like cosmic mouse, because is great for keep the place free of troublemakers...(in that place arent people like mouse...maybe that help the troublemakers alot)
so, jaamerica, im here when u need to talk
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the thing is i moved from serbia to here(bosnia) after the war ended.they called me all sorts of names because i was serbian and it hurt even more that i am muslim as well as people here are and they think that i was part of the people that killed the bosnians and actually wanted to drive me out of my own country for the same thing-religion.and now when it's been years since it ended they still have a reason to pick on me because of the fact that a lot of people are rich in that part of serbia that i come from so bosnians regularly call us thieves for that and the fact is that we actually worked for it while people in this country complain about everything and do nothing to change it.i usually wouldn't pay any attention but it pisses me of when i'm called a liar and a thieve just because of where i come from.it would all be ok if that only happened to me when i was a kid but it still happens.i can't get a job here because of that.i barely have any friends because of that.it just sucks 
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mr.az
Joined: 01 Sep 2005
Posts: 2421
Location: rallying
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| Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 22:20 |
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is sad to live in a world were yet we have discrimination 
i wonder were the people will understand that all we're brothers and we live in the same place and there's no reasons to fight to each other
we hope someday we can live without discrimination
that time will be perfect  
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Funkie Junkie
Joined: 01 May 2003
Posts: 421
Location: Berlin
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| Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 02:35 |
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I'm gonna try and keep it short...
When I was a kid I was bullied a lot, the reasons were -of course- trivial. It didn't take me long to see that the bullies were basically stupid kids, only bullying in order to feel better about themselves, and show off to their friends. I couldn't do anything against it with words. Perhaps I could've picked a fight with one of them, but at that age I didn't dare, especially as I was younger than the rest of my class and also smaller, and alone.
Anyway, more important is what effect this has had on my life. You might not think about it like that, but getting bullied can have great effects, no matter if you know it's nonsense. It touches you on the inside, which in my case resulted in a lower self-esteem. It took me a long time until I realized that my thoughts about myself were incorrect and self-defeating.
I'm doing a whole lot better these days, but I've often thought what my life would have been like if I could have been myself all my life. I'm saying this, because basically the bullying changed me into someone that I was not in my heart. That is the worst effect of getting bullied. But I know that it’s very difficult to do something about it. The kids who bully simply do not see what they are causing, and how can they? I'm not saying that that justifies anything. They can't see the long term effects, and even if they could, they'd probably not understand it. But they can see the sadness it brings to the kids they pick on. Perhaps this should be the key to stopping bullying; confrontation of their actions, by bringing the bullies and the bullied together and let them talk about it, together.
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deesh
Joined: 23 Feb 2002
Posts: 2717
Location: +001
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| Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 13:54 |
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I was thinking about this today really quick and if you can't stand up for yourself, then the best way to prove bullies wrong is to succeed. To just mind your business and get on with your life...you know?
Later in life they will be envious of you and say how well you are doing, etc. It's just proof that they didn't get you down or get to you. And most likely they won't be as far in their life or in their goals as you are, and that's karma! They were too busy bullying to enjoy their life.
Oh well!
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Funkie Junkie
Joined: 01 May 2003
Posts: 421
Location: Berlin
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| Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 18:40 |
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Actually, what sense does it make to proove anything to them? I don't need to proove a thing to them because they've already shown they're not worth it. So basically I don't care about showing off or whatever.
Of course, in case I ever see one of them picking up the garbage while I drive past him in my BMW or whatever, I probably won't be able to hide a smile.
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The name's Rob, just Rob |
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deesh
Joined: 23 Feb 2002
Posts: 2717
Location: +001
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| Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 18:59 |
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When I say PROVE, I didn't mean it literally. Like, doing well to prove something to them. You should do well despite. Not meaning showing off like saying to them, 'look at what I've done'. But just by doing what you do, and doing it well - for you....
Hard to explain, but I'll try a bit further.
Like by them bullying you and putting you down, they are hoping to break your spirits - but if you do well, it's proving them wrong, they did not get to you in anyway, that your strength exceeds their taunting, and that all their teasing was really for nothing because you exceled despite.
But some people do use bullying as motivation to succeed in whatever they are doing, and I think that's cool too.
Hope that makes more sense.
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TooYoungToDie
Joined: 12 Feb 2005
Posts: 27
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| Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 00:32 |
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Well, now we can see it that way, now we know they were stupid, they might be jelous, and all that; but the thing its that in the moment we really didnt believe that, what does a kid thinks when he being bullied? Of curse he says to himself "what an idiot...blah blah blah" But inside he just feels bad about it, he thinks he is different (in a bad way) and thinks the others are better than him. So I might say something very similar to Rob, I think all that affects in a deeper way than just gett older and say "they are stupid..." It hurts deep inside and affect more than we even know. What to do? Nothing. There will be always guys bulling and guys getting bullied, thats just how it is. I guess we should try not to be like that, not to teach that, not to promove that, and if we know someone who is being bullied, well just try to convince him that if he is different then thats a good thing, actually.
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Ivy
Joined: 25 Jan 2005
Posts: 336
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| Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 01:56 |
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true , some of the remnants of those feelings from way back has stayed with me it even though I was determined to never let it get to me it shows up in the way I act without thinking about it.
In the long run I do believe that you learn to let it go, you'll come to the realization ...holding on to self pity is just a waste of your time and others.
best thing to do if you were or are a victim is to talk about it never keep it bottled up...like here at jamirotalk.
and the most positive thing you can take from it is that it has given you a great lesson in empathy that you can use to prevent others from being bullied from whatever or whomever  |
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