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Freddie Hg
Joined: 17 Nov 2002
Posts: 510
Location: New York City
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 Posted: Thu Jun 10, 2004 22:05 |
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More speeding tickets for Jay...
Just read on the BBC website that Lamborghini has donated a car to an Italian Police Department in southern Italy. Looks like Jay can't elude the cops anymore, even in his fast cars!
read the full article here:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/3717471.stm
Cheers! |
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JamiroFan2000
Correspondent
Joined: 21 Mar 2002
Posts: 2881
Location: The Jamiroquaized States Of America
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| Posted: Thu Jun 10, 2004 23:10 |
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Hehe....
 Hello, :bm_r:
 Thanks for that news Freddie, I remember reading about that ! Looks like JK and the Eurofuzz might end up in a "Smokey & The Bandit" situation now that got this new "Red Machine" on the force. I could see it now: (JK tears down the highway in his Ferrari wearing a Indian headdress, JK turns on the CB Radio and says, "Ten four good fellows, this is Chief Cannabliss, I need a radio check!")   ! Thanks for listening and Peace!
Sincerely,
JamiroFan2000
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Supersonic1
Joined: 16 Apr 2004
Posts: 773
Location: Rio Rancho, New Mexico, USA
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| Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2004 06:25 |
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I think, I think, I've got a story...please be advised that this is a parody, and no one is meant to be hurt in this. Same disclaimer as the last one.
(Italian Television News)
Anchorwoman: Good evening, we have breaking news to report in Southern Italy. It appears that a high-speed chase has ensued between the police and what is being called a supercharged Ferrari tractor trailer. What's even more amazing is that the trailer is being piloted by Jay Kay of Jamiroquai with his guitarist Rob Harris in the front seat. The chase started outside of Maranello when the two musicians allegedly borrowed the trailer following another massive Schumacher win party last night. Authorities were alerted to the speedy truck just thirty minutes ago, and the chase has intensified as it heads toward Turin. Here is Fabrizio in Chopper Italia who is high above the chase.
Fabrizio: Hello, this has been a wild chase so far, Jay and Rob have been giving the trailer a workout. It's been dodging cars left and right on these highways; the only police vehicle that has managed to survive and continue the pursuit has been a Lamborghini Diablo that was donated by the company. One has to wonder what exactly made Jay do this...
(Cut to inside trailer cockpit. Rob is leaning his head out the window to look at the Diablo and the now multiple helicopters swirling above.)
Rob: You had to get Mr. Montezemolo drunk, didn't you?
Jay: It was the only way we could take a test drive with this...besides, Michael and Rubens were at home, so nobody was going to stop us anyway.
Rob: Why me? Why did I have to ride shotgun with a man that has gone 195 in a public roadway.
Jay: Loosen up, Robby! I took you along to get that stick out of your bum.
Rob: I'm not a tightwad! I actually value my life and sanity that's all!
Jay: Boy, you really are a saint, aren't you?
Rob: Look, we've had our fun. Let's just take our probation like men and go back home.
STOP NOW! THIS IS THE POLIZIA!
Jay: Well, I guess we did have fun, didn't we?
Rob: We sure did.
Jay: Okay, I'll stop.
(Cut to Chillington, where Matt, Alex, Sola, and Derrick are glued to the TV watching the chase)
Sola: I'm calling Scotland Yard to put a house arrest bracelet on his arse.
Derrick: (gives tranquilizer gun to Alex) Okay, Alex, here's the new plan. Anytime Jay decides to go have some "fun," you shoot him in the neck with this. There's enough juice to knock out a elephant, it's momma, and it's momma's momma. I'm tired of using my royalties on bail money.
Alex: Right, chief, hehe.
Matt: Hey, he's slowing down...oh no...please start praying that the squad car isn't a Lamborghini...
Derrick: If he sees that thing...
(Cut to Jay looking at the side mirror. His eyes start to widen in awe, and suddenly, his eyes glow red...Ferrari red.)
Jay: So that Diablo thinks he can stop the Prancing Horse?
(He starts grinning a devilish smile that makes Rob VERY scared)
Jay: Rob, I suggest you buckle up. Please.
(Sticks and turns his head around to the cop chasing him)
Jay: Bye bye! (Flips the finger)
Fabrizio: What the? He's going fast again! The chase is on once more!
(Chillington)
Derrick: F--- it. I hope he crashes the thing...it's not like he needs another car, right?
Matt, Sola, Alex: Yeah.
(Maranello)
Montezemolo: Oh, my head...next time, no wine. I think I'll go out to my stable of expensive cars...
(Slightly wobbly, he walks down the brick path to his shimmering car port, where his personal collection is waiting outside in a courtyard)
Monte: It's good to be the Man. The Enzo, my pride and joy. The 550, the most unique machine I've ever made. The Modena, the little one that could. And last but not least, my fire red Tractor Trailer...
(Suddenly sees that the trailer is missing)
Monte: Oh s---! My truck! Where is it, where is it?! It was here last night! Let's see, I didn't invite a lot of people who would drive fast...just supermodels, art guys, but only three "drivers." But wait...Michael and Rubens left before I passed out....the only others were...
I'M GONNA KILL THAT CAT IN THE HAT!!!!!!
Random Italian Guy: Wasn't he with a friend?
Monte: Oh, yeah, his quitar player. What should I call him?
RIG: How about a dog?
Monte: Okay...I'M GONNA KILL THAT CAT IN THE HAT AND THAT BLOODY DOG OF HIS! Better?
RIG: Bellisimo, Mr. Montezemolo.
This is a parody. No harm to nobody. Laugh! Thank you.
_________________
"...I feel that Jamiroquai needs to be taken to another stage now. It really does. Otherwise, I have to be honest, I can see a situation where...there is a possibility that you become lost in the annals of acid jazz history." -- Jason Kay |
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