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JamiroFan2000
Correspondent
Joined: 21 Mar 2002
Posts: 2881
Location: The Jamiroquaized States Of America
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 Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 21:05 |
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The JamiroQuai Newsbrief of the week!!! (A Comic Series 5#)
JamiroFan2000 walks in with a happy smile on his face, drinking from a cup of Starbucks coffee, he sits at the newsdesk and shuffles his news papers. The Cameraman walks in from the restroom, sees Fan, and walks over and says, "Why hello there Fan, you seem happy, what's the problem?" Fan looks up at him with a sneer and snaps back with, "WHAT! There's nothing in any way, shape or form wrong buddy, can't I just come into work happy sometimes???" The Camerman thinks about it and replies with, "Uh...no..in my book hehe, so anyway, how was your weekend?" Jam says, "Well, the usual mess of a weekend, making cookies, cleaning the bathtub, chasing squirrels out of my front yard, and washing the car." The Cameraman says, "Boy, you really are a lonely guy, aren't ya?" Jam sneers back at him and says, "NO I'M NOT! I just like to keep myself busy all the time." The Cameraman agrees with, "OK, OK, I won't pry into your weekend anymore." Jam smiles in agreement, the Cameraman takes his position and says, "We're on in....3...2...1..." The Lights fade to the black on the set and the come on bright, the broadcast begins....
"Hello JamiroQuacks..Ha Ha Ha (A Bad Anchorman laugh), Greetings and "sterile gloves" to you and your kin, this your "good to the last drop" saucy fellow JamiroFan2000 here with this week's Newsbrief. You might notice that this broadcast is a day early, well, we have some big bad good news to report. Anyhooey...enough about the strength of my deodorant..hehe..The Top Story is: JK banned from Driving. This past Feb. 2004, Jamiroquai frontlady & funky hat filler JK was clocked by police and citationed for having a nice bottom...err..that is for going 105 Miles per hour on the A9 "AND I HAVE SUNK YOUR BATTLESHIP'...Ha Ha Ha (Another Bad Anchorman laugh)...that is the A9 roadway in Scotland. He was driving a rather expensive 4X4 vehicle when he was caught speeding, that's what you get you ...DAMNED SUVS....hehe! Anyway, JK wasn't able to attend the hearing for his case cause of quote, 'Recording commitments in New York.' That's right, JK is back in New York City, presumably with the band either thinking of more bad things to say about the American Music magazines...hehe, record the "Strings and Horns" portions of the upcoming 6th Jamiroquai album, or do even more annoying 'final mixing' of the album. The case was delayed for 2 weeks, that should be enough time for JK to finish work on the new Jam album and have the 'damn thing' delayed for a few more weeks till it's release...hehe, just kidding there. This is a great sign that we could have a 'Oct. 2004' release date in concrete, more maybe some 'silly putty'..Ha Ha Ha (Bad Anchorman laugh). Well, that's all the news we could find, hope it helps you out fans, from all of us here at the JamiroQuai News Network, have a lovely evening and Keep Funkin'!"
The Lights fade to black on the set and the Cameraman says, "And we're clear, good show everyone!" The Cameraman walks over to Jam and says, "Here (Hands him a videocassette), you left your porno tape in the make-up chair!" The Crew giggle and snicker at Fan, Fan grabs the tape and yelps, "IT'S NOT PORNO, It's ADULT ENTERTAINMENT THANK YOU!" Fan stomps away with a blushed face as the crew laugh at him further.
 Hehe, I know, could have been better...! Thanks for listening and Peace! Hope you like it  !
Sincerely,
JamiroFan2000
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Supersonic1
Joined: 16 Apr 2004
Posts: 773
Location: Rio Rancho, New Mexico, USA
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| Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 15:07 |
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He really should build a real asphalt track out on the land he's got, not that dirt kart track. I mean somewhere where he can go crazy fast without ticking off the cops.
As always, funny and good, JamiroFan.
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"...I feel that Jamiroquai needs to be taken to another stage now. It really does. Otherwise, I have to be honest, I can see a situation where...there is a possibility that you become lost in the annals of acid jazz history." -- Jason Kay |
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