JamiroFan2000
Correspondent
Joined: 21 Mar 2002
Posts: 2881
Location: The Jamiroquaized States Of America
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 Posted: Tue Jun 29, 2004 22:55 |
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The JamiroQuai Newsbrief of the week! (A Comic Series 2#)
(JamiroFan2000 staggers into the JamiroQuai News studio, stumbles into the camera and hits head on teleprompter, grabs his head in pain. The Cameraman, surprised by this, walks over to Jam and asks, "Whoa, buddy, are you ok?" Jam, holding his head, snaps back at him with, "DUH!! Do I look ok!?!" The Cameraman says back, "Well, you kind of look "out of it", what happened to you?" Jam, holding a cold ice pack on his forehead whimpers back to him, "Well, it all started at the Ice Cream parlor, I was standing in line like a American, stern clef in my chin, a bright smile and standing tall waiting to be helped. Then this fat, pudgy guy wearing a "Disco Barbie" T-shirt butted right in front in line!" Walks over to the newsdesk and continues telling the tale, "Then I politely asked him in a calm American voice 'Yo, my fellow, why are you cutting in front of me?'. In a gruff mean voice he replied 'You want to make somethin' of it pee-wee?' I responded in a stern voice back, 'Looky here mister, I pay high tax dollars so you can parade around and have the freedom to wear that crappy Disco Barbie T-shirt, I expect a apology now!' "I gave a wry artful smile to the others waiting in line for ice cream, then as I turned around, he socked me in the eye with one of stand up cutouts of Mister Ice Cream, then I continued to scream, he picked me up and threw in the waste paper basket." The Cameraman giggles slightly and says, "Damn, that must of sucked, did you get him back?" Jam looks down in sorrow and says, "No, as I was blacking out, mostly due to the smell of the wastepaper basket, he bought a snow cone, put it on my head and proceeded to pee on me!" Jam holds back his tears as the Cameraman takes his position, he says, "I hope you feel better Jam, we're on in 3...2...1..!" Studio lights fade off, then on, the broadcast)
"Hello Jamirofunkers...hehe..Owww (Jam grabs his head in pain, but continues). Sorry, had a little problem with a Barbie doll enthuiaist this past weekend, but I'm right as rain. Anyhoo, we are out of a 4 week drought of news about the 6th album. Now, onto the BIG STORY: JK pitches a tent...no pun intended...Ha Ha Ha (Gives a bad anchorman laugh). This past weekend and around the abouts, JK attended the Goodwood car event, JK showcased his newest cars: his 2004 Ford Retention & Chrysler Gas-guzzling POS or "piece of shite"...Ha Ha Ha (Guffaws loudly into another annoying Anchorman laugh, The Cameraman rolls his eyes). Just japing there my fadies and Gentleladies...hehe, JK showed his new Rolls Royce & Mercedes G Wagon. And a funny turn of unexpected but usually tolerated JK moves, he decided to camp out in a tent instead of staying in a fancy hotel and flirting the maids into the ground...hehe. Here's some pictures, provided by the Funkin Site, of JK's living conditions at Goodwood.":
"As you can see in the first picture, owning a greenhouse and having a flexable girlfriend can teach you alot about living in the outdoors...HA HA HA! As you can see, JK went all out in buying a tent, complete with a escapable exotic car attached to it.. !!! (Another bad Anchorman laugh)"
"And here's a better look at JK's Rolls Royce, oh, to think of all the crumpets JK has had in there *sighs*! I must say the car has nice tire rims, look really good at chopping veggies for a campfire soup...Ha Ha Ha!"
"While at the event, a fan and visitor of the Funkin Site reported back that he asked 'The Big hatted one" about the recent 30 second audio clip to the new 6th album song "Black Devil Car". JK replied in his midget manly speaking voice that the song was not finished and the 6th Jamiroquai album will not be out till October 2004. Looks like us fans will have to wait an extra month before buying the album, playing it on our computers and putting it up for download...HA HA HA! Well, to tide us fans over, there's oodles and oodles of new Jamiroquai downloads online now. The Frenchiroquai site is offering a new Pro-shot video of Jam's past Le Mans 2004 show, also available are Jam's Live In Firenze 1993 bootleg & the Montreux 2003 soundboard MP3s. Check it out at: www.frenchiroquai.com. Also, in a little bit of addicted to my PS2 news, the Jamiroquai song "Virtual Insanity" will be on the upcoming game "Karaoke Revolution 2", so looks like it's to buy my Gatorade...hehe. Well, that's all the news for now, nice to finally have some eh? I'm JamiroFan2000 and this has been the Newsbrief, Love, Peace and Chicken Grease!" (Smiles at camera, studio lights fade to black, Jam stand up and grimaces at bump on head. The Cameraman walks up and says, "And we're clear, good show Jam, really nice to have you acting less funny this time." Jam sneers at his comments and bites back with, "Less Funny!?! To let you know Mister, I'm the funniest dude at my mommy's monthly rotary club meetings, my armpit performances are legendary!" Jam walks away proud as the cameraman looks at him with a blank stare.)
 There you go ! Ha Ha Ha...I tried my best there, Enjoy  ! Peace!
Sincerely,
JamiroFan2000
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