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Knjaz
Joined: 01 Feb 2006
Posts: 803
Location: Stuck in your computer
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 Posted: Mon Jan 08, 2007 23:09 |
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S.O.S....
This is just awful.  My dad doesn't wanna talk to me. We got into a fight, because he was so fucking annoying with the camera, shooting pictures of me, and I'm not always in the mood to take pictures. I can understand if he just wants the best for me, as he wants to shoot a photo of me on my birthday, but he just went over the edge when I told him not to take pictures, but he persisted. As I said, I'm sometimes not in the mood to take pictures, and today I've certainly had such moments.
I got so mad at him, I started to shout at him and whatnot. My mother then started to shout at me. But then it just started getting worse and worse. My father came out of the adjacent room about 20 minutes later, crying. Yep, crying. Not the first time I saw him cry beause of me, I must admit. I want to talk to him and apologise to him, but he's such a hardheaded motherfucker. Sure, I've shouted at my parents for numerous times because they think I'm stupid and need to tell me obvious things. My hands are not clean, but neither are my dad's, so who's guilty? Him, for provoking me to do something I now regret so much doing, or me, for being an intolerant little respectless twat I am? Somebody PLEASE help me, and tell me what to do... I'm craving a solution to this situation. Help?  |
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Jamiroquanna
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Joined: 19 Jan 2006
Posts: 1398
Location: Hertfordshire, UK
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| Posted: Mon Jan 08, 2007 23:59 |
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Well, as children we should respect our elders, that is something you realise the older you get. Firstly apologise to your dad, even though you may think he is in the wrong. That will clear the air. Then when you have both calmed down, explain to your parents what irritates you. Parents will always expect that they are right, because most of the time they are  Just remember that they want what is best for you, they never want to hurt you. Am sure they were proud of you and wanted to take some pictures of you to have nice memories, that's all.
Tell them how you feel about it. They will understand.
I hope this helps
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Jamiroquai - it's stitched into the clothes that I wear... |
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Funkie Junkie
Joined: 01 May 2003
Posts: 421
Location: Berlin
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| Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 00:02 |
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Knjaz, it does not matter who's fault it was really. It happened, and pointing fingers isn't going to make any of you feel better.
The best thing you can do is talk with him about it. You can try to explain why you got so angry, he can try to understand. He can then also explain why he wanted to keep taking pictures, so that you can try to understand his point of view. And even when you don't agree completely on what the one or the other should or shouldn't have done, the fact that the two of you at least give a try to make it up will make the both of you feel much better.
Oh, and if you can, let your dad know that you love him. I know it's hard, but it will mean the world to him when you say it. I say this out of my own experience.
Good luck! |
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jamirokaki
Expert
Joined: 29 Jan 2003
Posts: 3472
Location: basque country
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| Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 00:08 |
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follow jamiroquannas advice 
and don't call your father hardheaded motherfucker, only hardheaded 
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***STONED AGAIN*** |
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jamirokaki
Expert
Joined: 29 Jan 2003
Posts: 3472
Location: basque country
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| Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 00:12 |
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funkie junkie is right too
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lilyjammer
Moderator & Jamily Coach
Joined: 30 Jan 2006
Posts: 735
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| Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 07:08 |
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Speaking as a parent, I’ll agree with what ‘Quanna wrote about parents just wanting the best for their children. But I also have to admit that we don’t always show our children the respect they deserve, not out of any malicious attempt to control or irritate them, but because we don’t always see things from their perspective. Being a teenager is difficult, as is being the parent of a teenager – everything is changing in your relationship with your parents as you change from a child to an adult. The best thing we can all do is try to understand each other, and the best way to do that is through open and honest communication. Explain to your father what he did to upset you, in a calm and honest way, and hopefully he’ll hear you. It’s too easy for everyone to get emotional and that just leads to angry words that everyone regrets. Being dispassionate is harder, but worth the effort. And as FJ said, letting your parents know you love them (and vice versa) is important to maintaining a healthy relationship.
Hope this helps.
xxx
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Cosmic Girl
Joined: 15 Sep 2003
Posts: 2157
Location: Zürich, Switzerland
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| Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 08:43 |
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Knjaz I have a son in your age. |
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Knjaz
Joined: 01 Feb 2006
Posts: 803
Location: Stuck in your computer
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| Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 10:44 |
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I tried to follow you advice, to talk and apologise to him, right a minute ago, but he was all like "Okay, bye". You gotta know that my father and the rest of my family are basically all that I've got, and seeing him act so cynically towards me really hurts me more than what I've done and seen last night. He doesn't even wanna talk to me. I'd simply do anything just to make up for what I've done. I certainly can't make all this unhappen, but I will try to at least make it better, if I can. I'm starting to feel desperate, I feel like a part of me just went silent and died when I realised that he doesn't wanna talk to me. |
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Cosmic Girl
Joined: 15 Sep 2003
Posts: 2157
Location: Zürich, Switzerland
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| Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 10:49 |
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@ knjaz  parents can be so cruel |
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Jamiroquanna
Moderator
Joined: 19 Jan 2006
Posts: 1398
Location: Hertfordshire, UK
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| Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 12:30 |
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He won't forgive you immediately because he is hurt. Give him time to also think about why you were angry. Try again later and let him know how sorry you are that this happened. It will be ok
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Jamiroquai - it's stitched into the clothes that I wear... |
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Pepela
Joined: 28 Jun 2005
Posts: 649
Location: Firenze, Italia
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| Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 12:52 |
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Then why don't you write him a letter with all you feelings and ecc?....
Not an e-mail of course.
And let him relax a little, because he's still sad.
And you know, this method helps a lot! Believe my experience:)
I have extremly diffficult relationships with my mother, we both have very difficult charachters and we're extremly emotional, so when we argue badly I know that it's be impossible to talk to her and we write letters each other and in the end everything becomes good.... |
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Knjaz
Joined: 01 Feb 2006
Posts: 803
Location: Stuck in your computer
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| Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 13:33 |
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Thanks, you two! However, my father's not just sad, but he's also mad at me at the same time. He is my father, and being just that, I love him. I talked to him a moment ago, and he seems to be less upset! I'm so glad he's feeling better! |
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Deja
Joined: 05 Jun 2006
Posts: 650
Location: Turin, Italy
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| Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 17:14 |
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Knjaz, I'm not a parent but I've been a desperate Teen ager making my grandma suffer hell!
Anna gave you a great advice and also the suggestion to write him a letter is great ..maily because it will help you understand why you behave like this sometime ( I still do it and to keep my time to see the all thinks again is what help me more) so do your analisys, than when your father will be more calm your "excuse" will not be generally 'cause you hurted him but specific knowing what you have done to hurt him and will help you not to do it anymore.
Sometimes to say "sorry" is very easy but then we keep on repeating our mistakes, the best is to say it once you realize what is for and knowing how to behave not to repeat that
he's suffering now but I'm sure that knowing you have understood will be the best balm x him and for you will be a change not to repeat that!
Secondly, I'm not sure your parents believe you are an Idiot, probably is esaclty the opposite, they believe you are too smart and wanna keep you under control to be sure nothing happens to the special person they created! My mother still ask me if I wash my teeth and I'm 31 y.o. is normal, they don't wanna loose they role and will be worried for you forever but not because they don't respect you but probably because they wanna feel needed and you are the person n°1!
So don't be sad...thing like this can be taken as a chance to get better and better!
I wish you'll solve the situation soon!
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Maxud
Joined: 17 Jul 2006
Posts: 1281
Location: Germany
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| Posted: Thu Jan 18, 2007 22:34 |
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my my my...
your parents cry because of you!
do you respect them?
you should live three month without your parents totally alone...
maybe youll know atfer that what youre doing. for me its a shame to blame my partens and telling that to other people WORLDWIDE...
maaan i dont know what i can tell you about that im really really bad impressed!
your parents arent guilty the only one whos guilty that is you!
i think you should change a bit your life. and maybe youre in an bad age youre 15 or 14 right?
4 hands take care of you and you bite them!
you can be glad if they feed you again.
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maxud braucht funk food denn dann bleibt maxud maxud
tell me if these are ligh years...
dont stop the beat... |
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Catman
Joined: 14 Aug 2004
Posts: 1737
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| Posted: Fri Jan 19, 2007 02:06 |
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knjaz! .... i cant believe u wrote that .. .u soundd like a total shithead who doesnt give 2 shits about anyone else besides himself! do u not think about the consequences of ur actions ? u should respect ur elders and try to spend as much time with ur folks as u can while they are still around .... seriously man, they raised u, they gave u life , u have so much owing to them for giving u what u have today! there the reason ur here right now! ..... it was ur fuckin birthday for fucks sake! u make me sick man! how could u treat ur father like that ? fuckn horrible!
i also agree with maxud ..... u should try living on ur own and then see how easy it is!
however ur only young and proberly dont understand the things best for in life..... thats what life is for u kno... growing and learning.... hopefully this experience for u will help make u grow into an adult! |
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