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Question for native english-speakers:)

 
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Pepela



Joined: 28 Jun 2005
Posts: 649
Location: Firenze, Italia


PostPosted: Wed Jul 25, 2007 08:05    Reply with quote

Question for native english-speakers:)
Question for those who's native language is English:)))
Today I've been asked to translate our company's presentation into English and well, I know that my English is fluent, but I want this presentation to sound more "english" for our western companies.
So I have several phrases in which I'm not so sure:)
And here they are:) Tell me how do they sound and correct them if you don't like:)) Thx in advance:))
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2004 - foundation of Mass/Express recruitment department

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....includes search and selection of administrative personnel (maybe staff is better here???), executive search and management selection, HR consulting.

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Our primary(does primary sound ok or maybe main is better....) services - executive search and management selection.

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According to the RBC rating "top 20 recruitment companies", Aprioi entered Top-10 of best recruitment companies. --I don't like this phrase so much:(

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Apriori solves questions (maybe you can suggest another word?Smile concerning recruitment.

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Tracking Interview results --- I don't like word tracking -- I mean here that we follow up interview results (asking Client his oppinion on candidate. and Candidate's opinion on client ecc)

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Successful projects or maybe successful positions or closed positions or executed positions? I mean here examples of vacancies that are succeded, we found candidate and he's now working at those companies.
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MissyM



Joined: 28 Feb 2007
Posts: 451
Location: Here--> there & everywhere!


PostPosted: Wed Jul 25, 2007 08:49    Reply with quote


---------------------------------------------------------

2004 - foundation of Mass/Express recruitment department

* ??? Mass sounds better if that is what you are asking? between the words Mass and Express.. OR even try department of mass recruitment???

---------------------------------------------------------

....includes search and selection of administrative personnel (maybe staff is better here???), executive search and management selection, HR consulting.

*maybe instead of using the words "search and selection" use the word "recuitment" as this means search and selection all in one word..??..--> so to read (includes recuitment of administrative personnel... and then also to read -- executive management recruitment (are you recuiting management here? - otherwise i am not sure what search and management selection could be?..)

---------------------------------------------------------

Our primary(does primary sound ok or maybe main is better....) services - executive search and management selection.

*primary services sounds good.. Razz don't use main that's a laymans term for primary.

---------------------------------------------------------

According to the RBC rating "top 20 recruitment companies", Aprioi entered Top-10 of best recruitment companies. --I don't like this phrase so much:(

*Aprioi was listed in the Top-10 for recruitment companies by RBC rating .. (?)

---------------------------------------------------------

Apriori solves questions (maybe you can suggest another word? concerning recruitment.

*Aprioi answers all your questions on/regarding recruitment issues.

--------------------------------------------------------

Tracking Interview results --- I don't like word tracking -- I mean here that we follow up interview results (asking Client his oppinion on candidate. and Candidate's opinion on client ecc)

*Aprioi records general outcomes for all parties concerned??.. (not sure ?)

---------------------------------------------------------

Successful projects or maybe successful positions or closed positions or executed positions? I mean here examples of vacancies that are succeded, we found candidate and he's now working at those companies.

*Successful placements // or successful outcomes regarding placement/recuitment

------------hope that helps some----
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Pepela



Joined: 28 Jun 2005
Posts: 649
Location: Firenze, Italia


PostPosted: Thu Jul 26, 2007 06:04    Reply with quote


MissyM, thank you so much for helping!Smile
And by Mass/Express recruitment I meant that actually there are 2 departments mass recruitment and express recruitment:) And since we're making an introduction for clients who mostly are interested in executive search, we just combined those 2 departments. We didn't want to write about them at all actually, because it's looks....not very good, mass and express recruitment are the lowest levels of recruitment, but our CEO made us to write about them. So to make our clients pay no attention to those departments, we combined them:)
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Rythmolution



Joined: 30 Oct 2006
Posts: 111
Location: Duesseldorf - Germany


PostPosted: Thu Jul 26, 2007 12:48    Reply with quote


Our primary(does primary sound ok or maybe main is better....) services - executive search and management selection.

just a thought : try "core competence" i.e "core competency"
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