JamiroFan2000
Correspondent
Joined: 21 Mar 2002
Posts: 2881
Location: The Jamiroquaized States Of America
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 Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2004 21:41 |
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The JamiroQuai Newsbrief of the Week!!! (A Comic Series #4)
(Jam walks into the JamiroQuai News Network very slowly holding a bottle of water with a look of sickness on his face. The Cameraman eyes him ackwardly and walks over saying, "Whoa, you ok Jam?!?" Jam gives him a weird look and says, "I'm great...ohhh my head!!!" The concerned Cameraman walks over to the newsdesk with Jam and replies, "You don't look so hot man, are you sick or..." Jam cuts him off by snapping at him, "I'M OK MAN!!! I'm just getting used to this new diet I'm on." The Cameraman flares his eyebrows and retorts with, "DIET?!? Why are you on a diet of all things?" Jam, after drinking from the bottle of water says, "Oh, I'm just trying to lose some pounds from the old 'people pouch'!" (Gives a ungleeful smile) The Cameraman is surprised and replies, "People pouch?!? What the hell is that? Ah, forget it, what's the diet like, no breads, no carbs, low calories?!?" Jam, shuffling is papers slowly says, "Oh, it's the latest thing I got offered when I was shopping at my local GNC, it's called the 'Eat nothing' diet!" (Gives another unhappy smirk) The Cameraman rubs his face with his hand and a scared voice says, "UH! You could die without Jam, are you crazy or something?" Jam flares his eyebrows and replies with, "ME...DIE, Oh ho ho, I'm allowed to drink water but no food for 7 months, I'm already feeling very fit and have a lighter 'tum-tum'." (Smiles and pats stomach, but groans in pain) The Cameraman, taking his position replies, "Jam, you realize your doing a 'fast' and not a diet right?" Jam says, "A 'fast'...I'm not Indian, I couldn't stand staying in a Tee-Pee for 7 months, is that how a 'fast' works?" The Cameraman rolls his eyes in disbelief and says, "Whatever...we're on in...3...2...1!" (The studio lights fade to black on the set and come up bright, the broadcast starts)...
"Howdy ho Jammies...hehe, this is your favorite and 'ripe for the picking' host JamiroFan2000 with his week's 'annoying to your grannies' JamiroQuai Newsbrief for the week. I hope my fellow and equally 'handsome' American Jamirophiles had a very nice and 'drinking responsible' fun recent July 4th holiday. Being from a Southern American family, we did the proud July 4th tradition of setting the 'ugliest family member' on fire and watch them run around the lawn as we drank lemonade...Ha Ha Ha Ha (A long and annoying Anchorman laugh). Just kidding about that bit.....seriously.....I was just....kidding...OK! In this week's TOP STORY: Jamiroquai's Best Ex-Members meet with SUCCESS! Ex-Jamiroquai de-tangle shampoo spokesperson, former toleration JK co-songwriter and keyboardist genius Toby Smith may have quit Jamiroquai back in 2002, but he has been a certainly busy 'puppy'..hehe! He is currently co-producing and co-writing a bulk of the new debut album from a new artist Jamie Scott. The album titled "Soul-Searching" is due out when my boxers are fashionable...Uh...(Gives the teleprompter operator the finger and continues)...I mean it's due out October 2004. In more ex-Jamiroquais news, Former Jamiroquai 'Supercuts" patient, pretty boy and bassist God Stuart Zender's 2nd music project and band called "Leroy" is getting the support from a unlikely celebrity. Hollywood part time 'junk' user and 'prettier boy' Leonardo DiCaprio is such a fan of "Leroy" that he is willing to invest in the band's future of 'drug abuse' and 'failed relationships'...Ha Ha Ha (Another long Anchorman laugh). Just kidding my fav 'little cup of stu'..hehe, Stu's new concoction "Leroy's" sound is said to be a cross between The Beatles & Earth Wind & Fire! Ohhh, that sounds 'tasty', don't it my fellow fans? Well that concludes this week's Newsbrief, I hope you enjoyed it as much I enjoy going to farm to NOT pet the sheep..Uhhh...Errrr..(Growls at the laughing teleprompter operator who gives him the finger back). Anyhoo, take care, see you next week with more delicious Jamiro-flavored tibits to tickle your Quai-fancy...Ha Ha Ha...Love Peace and Chicken Grease!" (The lights fade on the set ending the broadcast).
(The Cameraman says, "And...we're clear, GREAT SHOW everyone, by the way Jam, could you tell me more about the sheep?" Jam flares his eyebrows at the Cameraman and blurts out, "Their hooves really itch human skin...ahhhh!!!" (Jam realizes what he said and walks away embarrassed as the crew laugh at him, the Cameraman breaks out in laughter).
 There you go, I tried my best !  I hope you like it and find it funny...till next "Anchorman" post...Peace !
Sincerely,
JamiroFan2000
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